Teens and Family Transitions: Divorce, Blended Families and a Parent Who Travels

Blackburn Clinical Services offers one-on-one therapy in West Los Angeles for teens 13 to 17 whose family is changing, through a separation or divorce, a parent’s new partner, a blended family, a move between two homes or a parent who is away for work much of the time, plus family sessions that bring the right people into the room. Teens often keep these feelings to themselves, especially when they can see their parents are already stretched. The strain tends to show up at school, in their mood or in their friendships first.

Who this page is for

• Parents who are separating or divorcing and want their teen to have someone neutral to talk to.
• Families blending households, with a stepparent, a parent’s new partner or new siblings.
• Teens moving between two homes during a demanding high school schedule, with books, uniforms, practices and rides split across households.
• Families where one parent travels often or lives part of the year elsewhere for work, and the teen and the parent at home carry more than they let on.

How family changes can show up in a teenager

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry notes that children of divorcing parents are often scared and confused, that they benefit when both parents stay involved and keep conflict low, and that signs such as withdrawal, aggression, falling grades or behavior problems can mean a child needs more support (AACAP). With teens, we also often see:

• Irritability, anger at one parent, or taking on a parenting role for younger siblings.
• Anxiety about money, a move or a change of school.
• Withdrawal into a phone, a bedroom or a friend group, or spending as much time as possible away from home.
• Feeling caught in the middle: carrying messages, keeping secrets or worrying that loving one parent hurts the other.
• Resentment toward a new partner or stepsiblings, or guilt about liking them.
• Slipping grades or missed assignments when schoolwork is split between two homes.

What therapy at Blackburn looks like

• A space that belongs to your teen. In one-on-one therapy in our office, your teen can talk about the change without worrying about protecting anyone’s feelings. See therapy.
• Family sessions. Depending on what helps, sessions can include one parent, both parents, a stepparent or a parent who joins between trips. We focus on communication, routines across homes and how to talk about the change. See family services.
• We do not take sides. Our role is to support your teen and your family’s relationships, not to decide who is right.
• Parent-only sessions and your own therapy. Parents can book parent-only sessions about their teen, for help talking with a teen about a separation, a new partner or an upcoming move, and can book their own therapy. For couples, see relationship counseling.
• Weekday sessions. Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM, scheduled within those hours around school and the family’s schedule.

What parents can do now

• Tell your teen what is changing, what will stay the same and that the change is not their fault, in plain words and ideally together.
• Keep adult conflict, finances and complaints about the other parent away from your teen. Do not ask them to carry messages.
• Let your teen have feelings about a new partner without rushing closeness. Stepparents usually do best starting as a friendly adult rather than a disciplinarian.
• Make school logistics easy across homes: one shared calendar, duplicate essentials, clear handoffs.
• If a parent travels, keep a predictable routine for contact, and let the parent at home ask for help too.
• Watch for signs that sadness or anger is not easing, such as signs of depression, missed school or substance use.

Your teen’s school

We share information with your teen’s school only with written permission. When clinically appropriate, we can provide documentation for your teen’s school, for example if a family change is affecting attendance or workload.

When to get urgent help

If your teen is in danger right now, call 911. If your teen talks about wanting to die, is harming themselves, or you are worried they might, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time of day. If there is violence or fear of harm at home, call 911.

Questions

Do both parents need to agree before our teen starts therapy?

No. Either parent with legal custody can consent for their teen to start therapy, unless a court order says otherwise. Tell us about your family on the first call.

Can a stepparent join family sessions?

Yes, when it helps your teen. Many blended families start with sessions for the teen alone or with one parent, then bring in a stepparent once there is some trust.

Will the therapist tell me what my teen says?

Teens need privacy to speak openly. We explain at the start what stays between your teen and their therapist and what parents will hear, and safety concerns are always shared.

My teen seems fine. Do they still need therapy?

Not always. Many teens adjust well with steady support at home. Therapy is worth considering if you see lasting changes in mood, sleep, grades or friendships, or if your teen asks for someone to talk to.

Can a parent who travels take part?

Yes. A parent who is often away can join family sessions in our office when they are home, and parents can get guidance on staying connected with their teen between trips.

Get started

You can also email info@blackburnclinical.com or contact us. Parents usually make the first call; your teen does not need to be on the line. More guides: therapy for private school students.

Sources

• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Children and Divorce (Facts for Families)
• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline