Teen Depression: Signs Parents of High Schoolers Miss

Depression in high school students often does not look like sadness. It can look like irritability, sleeping all day or not at all, dropping a favorite activity, constant complaints of being tired or slipping grades in a teen who used to manage fine. If changes like these last more than two weeks, it is worth having your teen assessed. Blackburn Clinical Services offers one-on-one therapy in our West Los Angeles office or by secure video (for clients located in California) for teens 13 to 17, with family sessions for parents.

Worried your teen is depressed? Call (888) 870 7405
Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM. Therapy takes place in our office at 12326 Venice Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90066, or by secure video.

How common is teen depression?

More common than many parents realize. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that in 2021, 20.1 percent of U.S. adolescents ages 12 to 17 had at least one major depressive episode in the past year, and only 40.6 percent of them received treatment. In the 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 39.7 percent of high school students felt persistently sad or hopeless and 20.4 percent had seriously considered attempting suicide.

Signs parents of high schoolers often miss

  • Irritability and anger. NIMH notes that teens with depression may be irritable rather than sad. Constant snapping is easy to write off as normal teenage attitude.
  • Sleep changes. Sleeping through weekends, napping after school every day, or lying awake until 3 AM.
  • Pulling back from favorite things. Quitting a sport, an instrument or a club, or still going but no longer enjoying it.
  • Physical complaints. Frequent headaches, stomachaches or exhaustion without a clear medical cause.
  • School changes. Missed assignments, trouble concentrating, more absences or a sudden drop in grades.
  • Withdrawing. More time alone in their room, less time with friends, or a new group of friends.
  • Hidden behind success. High-achieving teens can keep grades up while feeling empty. Look at how they are, not only how they are doing.
  • Substance use. New vaping, drinking or cannabis use can be a way of coping with low mood.
  • Hopeless talk. Comments like “What is the point” or “Everyone would be better off without me” always deserve a response.

Stress, a breakup or a bad week can cause some of these for a few days. Depression is more likely when several signs last two weeks or more and get in the way of school, friendships or family life.

What parents can do now

  • Start a low pressure conversation. Car rides and late evenings are often easier than a face to face sit down. Say what you have noticed and that you are on their side.
  • Ask directly about safety. Asking “Have you been having thoughts of hurting yourself or of not wanting to be alive?” opens the door. The National Institute of Mental Health notes that research shows asking does not increase suicidal thoughts.
  • Listen more than you fix. Reflect back what you hear before offering solutions.
  • Check in with your pediatrician to rule out a medical cause.
  • Secure medications and firearms at home.
  • Call for an assessment. You do not need to be certain it is depression to ask for help.

What therapy at Blackburn looks like

  • An assessment with your teen and with you, covering mood, sleep, school, friendships, substances and safety.
  • One-on-one therapy in our office or by secure video for clients located in California using CBT, DBT, ACT and other approaches chosen for your teen. See depression treatment.
  • Family sessions to improve communication and decide together how parents can help.
  • Psychiatric care can be arranged if an evaluation for medication is appropriate.
  • More support if needed through the Blackburn Concierge Outpatient Program, typically 3 to 5 hours a week of one-on-one therapy, with no groups.
  • Hours: Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM, scheduled within those hours to fit around school.

When to get urgent help

If your teen is in danger right now, call 911. If your teen talks about wanting to die, is harming themselves or you are worried they might, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time of day. You can call 988 as a parent, for advice about what to do next. Our guide if your teen talks about self-harm or suicide walks through what to do tonight.

Questions

How do I tell the difference between moodiness and depression?

Look at how long it lasts and how much it gets in the way. Depression is more likely when several signs last two weeks or more and affect school, friends or family life.

Will asking about suicide make it more likely?

No. Research summarized by the National Institute of Mental Health shows that asking does not increase suicidal thoughts, and asking calmly is one of the most helpful things a parent can do. If your teen says yes, or you are unsure, call or text 988 for guidance.

My teen still gets good grades. Could they be depressed?

Yes. Some teens, especially high achievers, keep up at school while feeling empty, exhausted or hopeless at home.

Does my teen need medication?

Not always. Many teens improve with therapy. If medication might help, psychiatric care can be arranged so a prescriber can evaluate your teen.

Can parents be involved in therapy?

Yes. Family sessions are available, and your teen also has private time with their therapist.

More for families: therapy for private school students, therapy for high-achieving teens and school refusal and anxiety-related absences.

Depression can be easy to mistake for something else at this time of year. See senior slump or depression, finals stress in high school and a winter break plan for a struggling teen.

Get started

If you are worried, call us. Call (888) 870 7405
Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM.

You can also email info@blackburnclinical.com or contact us. Parents usually make the first call; your teen does not need to be on the line.

Sources

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