College Admissions Stress: Therapy for Juniors and Seniors

If your junior or senior is anxious, irritable, not sleeping or frozen in front of an unfinished application, short-term therapy can help right now, during application season, not just after decisions come out. Blackburn Clinical Services offers one-on-one therapy in our West Los Angeles office or by secure video (for clients located in California) for high school students 13 to 17, with family sessions so parents and teens can get through the college process without it taking over the house.

Why late fall is peak season

According to the College Board, most early decision deadlines fall on November 1, with some in mid-November or December 1, and early action deadlines generally fall in November. Early decisions usually arrive in December, and early action decisions between December and the end of January, sometimes later. Many seniors are finishing essays, keeping first semester grades up and waiting on results at the same time. Juniors feel it too, as test planning and the college list begin.

At college prep schools, where the process is discussed constantly and classmates apply to many of the same colleges, the pressure can be intense. A deferral, a rejection or a friend’s acceptance can hit hard, especially for a teen who sees admission as a measure of their worth.

Signs admissions stress has become more than normal nerves

• Avoiding the application entirely, or rewriting the same essay for weeks
• Panic, tearfulness or anger whenever college comes up
• Sleeping very little, or sleeping much more than usual
• Grades slipping in senior fall after years of steady work
• Stomachaches, headaches or skipped meals
• Talking about themselves as a failure, or saying nothing will work out
• New or increased vaping, drinking or cannabis use

Some of these can be signs of depression or an anxiety disorder rather than stress alone. If they last more than two weeks or get in the way of daily life, an assessment is worth it. See signs of teen depression parents miss.

What therapy at Blackburn looks like for applicants

• Focused, practical sessions. In one-on-one therapy in our office or by secure video for clients located in California, teens learn to break the application into steps, manage worry and panic, and stop treating every outcome as a verdict on who they are. CBT and ACT are common approaches.
• Family sessions. Many families find college has become the only topic at dinner. Sessions help agree on when and how to talk about applications, who does what, and how to respond to good and bad news.
• Preparing for decisions. We help teens plan for December and spring results, including deferrals and rejections, before they arrive.
• When it is more than stress. If anxiety or depression is significant, we may recommend more frequent care through the Blackburn Concierge Outpatient Program, which is one-on-one with no groups, or psychiatric care, which can be arranged.
• Hours. Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM, scheduled within those hours to fit around school.

We do not help with essays, applications or college lists; that is the job of your school counselor or a college advisor. Our role is the teen’s mental health and your family’s relationships during the process.

What parents can do this week

• Set a college free zone. Pick one time a week to talk about applications and keep the rest of the week off limits.
• Ask before advising. Try: “Do you want help, or do you want me to just listen?”
• Watch your own stress. Teens pick up on parents’ worry. Talk to another adult, not your teen, about your own fears.
• Plan for a hard decision day. Agree in advance where your teen will open results and who will be there.
• Remember the wider view. Remind your teen, and yourself, that there are many good paths and that your love does not depend on an admission.
• Call for help if your teen seems stuck, hopeless or unwell.

When to get urgent help

If your teen is in danger right now, call 911. If your teen talks about wanting to die, is harming themselves or you are worried they might, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time of day. You can call 988 as a parent, for advice about what to do next.

Questions

Is it too late to start therapy in the middle of application season?

No. Fall is when stress peaks for many seniors. Short-term, focused work can help a teen get through deadlines and decisions.

Will you help my teen write essays or choose colleges?

No. We are a mental health practice. Your school counselor or a college advisor helps with applications. We help with the anxiety, mood and family stress around them.

My teen was deferred or rejected and is devastated. Can you help?

Yes. Disappointment is normal, but if your teen is not bouncing back after a week or two, or seems hopeless, call us. If they talk about wanting to die, call or text 988.

Can parents come to sessions?

Yes. Family sessions are available, and many families use them to lower conflict about college at home.

When are appointments?

Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM. We find times within those hours that fit around school.

More for families: therapy for private school students, therapy for high-achieving teens and, for students already in college, therapy for college students.

Seasonal guides for parents: helping your teen through an early decision deferral or rejection, finals stress in high school, a winter break plan for a struggling teen and senior slump or depression.

Get started

You can also email info@blackburnclinical.com or contact us. Parents usually make the first call; your teen does not need to be on the line.

Sources

• College Board BigFuture: When are early action applications due?
• College Board BigFuture: Early decision and early action calendar
• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline